“WELCOME!” & “HOW’S YOUR DAY GOING?”
In the last few weeks I’ve been bombarded by employees at various retail outlets shouting “Welcome!” on entering their stores; and asking “How’s your day going?” when checking out.
Now, I’m not big on conspiracy theories. I believe that Oswald killed JFK– not Castro, or the Mob. I also believe that the pyramids were built by humans– not the mer-people from Atlantis, or UFO aliens. And I believe that the current Paul McCartney is the same person as the 1962 Silver Beatle of the same name– not a look-alike contest winner named Billy Shears who subsequently disappeared.
But I am starting to think that the Big People, the ones with their hands on the controls, do meet occasionally to set various policies to keep the rabble pacified and complacent while their masters count their billions. Whether it was a Tri-Lateral Commissioner, Mason, or Bilderberger, someone in some big secret meeting recently said, “Hey, let’s put a friendly face at the door. Let’s say “Welcome!” when the proles come to our shops. And if we miss them coming in let’s ask them, “How’s your day going?” while they’re checking out. Let’s have them think we care about them.”
(I think this ersatz bonhomie might be an extension of the use of the word ‘family’ to artificially weld a bunch of strangers into a group focused on some task. That’s a cadre, or a workforce– it’s not a family. I know; I had a family. It had 2 parents and 3 children. The parents were the children of other, earlier parents– and so on back to the Old Country. We were related by blood and genes and a shared history. We were a group that self-assembled– not one thrown together by Bank of America, or Walmart, or Food King.)
This phenomenon is too widespread, and started happening across too wide an area in a matter of days, to be a coincidence. If that puts me in with the conspiracy/paranoid crowd I guess I’ll just have to learn to live with it. Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not really after me.
Additionally, this welcome / how’s your day business seems forced, not sincere. It’s the new, hollow “Have a nice day”; and by inverting itself from an order to an ostensible greeting it puts the onus of response on me. Hey, Mister Businessman– leave me out of your corporate glad-handing. I’m mentally organizing my trip through the store; don’t have the ‘associate’ interrupt me with a fake welcome. And when I’m trying to pay and leave don’t ask about my day. Good or bad it’s my day and you don’t really care; you aren’t invested in our fleeting relationship. Whatever I tell you will go in one ear and out the other because the next customer will be your new best friend in a few moments, for a few moments.
It was fun while it lasted, now shove off.
And have a nice day.
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