Recently, while shopping at a commercial food warehouse, I saw the power of a silent look.
I’d been there many times before and knew how to get in and out with relative ease and speed. Given that the place was not open to the general public, and had restaurant owners, chefs, and other food professionals as its clientele, things generally moved briskly. There weren’t aisle-clogging browsers like in a regular supermarket. These shoppers were on missions to supply their commercial kitchens and get on with the cooking. I was counting on this to make my shopping quick and efficient, as was usually the case. Usually.
On this particular occasion, as I approached the checkout area, a burst of laughter erupted from the far end of the lines where the female cashiers were stationed. There were 3 other cashiers, in addition to the one on my line, and several customers in each line. All in all there were probably 20 people checking out. I lucked out and joined a short line where someone was just leaving, so now there was only one person ahead of me. All were involved in the rollicking group laugh.
After the burst of laughter I saw that my Kahlo-esque cashier was doing a comedy act with a slightly-built male Latin patron, checking out in the next line over. The guy– who was possibly Cuban or Puerto Rican– was at least 60, but trying hard to pass for 40. He was deeply tanned, dressed in hiply faded & torn jeans, a faded denim jacket (also designer-torn in spots), an open-to-the-navel shirt with frills, fancy cuffs & cufflinks, and elaborate running shoes. Gold neck chains, a large gold watch, and several large, gaudy gold rings completed his ‘80s disco look. His thin, clearly-dyed “blonde” hair was arranged in big, greasy curls plastered flat across his forehead in a vain attempt to look less bald. His appearance and demeanor shouted ‘Ladies’ man!’ and he was the star of the show. I mentally dubbed him “Casanova.”
As I settled in line another burst of laughter bloomed and it was apparent that my cashier and Casanova were trading one-liners in a mock flirtation, as she was distractedly tending to her customer, the person directly in front of me. Even though this was happening in Spanish it was easy to follow in a general way, and the side comment references of the other cashiers and customers to ‘esposa’ and ‘esposo’ kept this ribald balloon afloat.
Keep in mind that all this frivolity was having the adverse side effect of drastically slowing the checkout process across all 4 lines, much to my annoyance. As each cashier focused on hearing the latest jibe her line’s progress slowed momentarily. Now, making her own amusing comment required the cashier to stop processing her customer’s order altogether, think of a funny line, deliver the line, then bask in the glow of the crowd’s enthusiastic response.
It was slow-motion chaos.
The third round of comments brought the biggest laugh yet, and my cashier actually doubled over laughing at Casanova’s latest witticism. As she handed the receipt to the customer ahead of me, who had finally manage to pay, and was now about to leave, her glance at her line of customers met my icy stare for a quick second; but the conversational ball was in her court and she spoke to Casanova more out of momentum than anything else.
As soon as she delivered her line, and got the laugh, she turned her head to look at me directly. If my face was set in a cold glare on her first glance now it was positively Medusan in its intensity. This had the intended effect on my clown. She looked at the floor, me, her cash register, me again, fleetingly at Casanova, and back to me again. She then literally turned her back to Casanova and started to pointedly process my order. Casanova said something else, but without his partner in the routine the laughter died quickly, and that was that. No one spoke as he left with his goods.
In a matter of seconds the nightclub atmosphere dissipated. A thick quiet fell across the entire checkout area as the mood shifted back to that of a place of business. The only sound was the beeping of the scanners as the cashiers now concentrated on processing customers’ orders.
And I did it all with a look.